Every child has dreams about how life will pan out. For some that might include the fairytale wedding and living the perfect life with her Prince Charming and 2.4 adorable children. Fast forward to today, and the piles of bills, screaming kids and husband snoring on the sofa in front of the football might be a far cry from those dreams.
Welcome to the world! Nobody’s life is a fairytale. Some couples lapse into a state of coexistence, more out of habit than from enduring love and common goals, while others decide to ditch it all in search of new sensations.
Perhaps there is a third way, however. If the humdrum of day to day life as a wife and mother is getting you down, here are some thoughts to consider.
What’s it all about?
Sometimes there is too much going on to even know whether you are happy and satisfied or not. Stop for a moment, and think about what you live for. Why did you get married and what were your aspirations? Cooking meals and washing smelly socks is part of life, but it should not be life itself.
Ultimately, the kids will fly the nest, and there is a danger of sitting there in retirement, staring at a life partner you hardly know, wondering what it was all about.
Find time to do things alone
It may sound strange, but in order to keep the fire and desire between you and your other half, you need to learn how to spend time apart. That doesn’t mean disappearing off on holidays and adventures on your own for weeks on end – although some do – but more finding time to assert your own identity.
It might be a hobby like photography, art or sport. But many find they best express themselves and their identities through their work. As a full-time Mum, you might think there is no time for work, but even a few hours per week doing something truly rewarding can make a big difference to your life. The lure of jobs in healthcare is an obvious example, and a look at Cygnet Jobs gives a good indication of what is available.
The extra family income always comes in handy, but more than that, it is great to simply have others to talk to outside your immediate family and new topics for conversations around the dinner table.
And as a couple
Of course, you love your children and want to give them all your love and attention. However, kids and grandparents love time together, too! Take the opportunity for the little ones to have a weekend away and for you and your other half to remind yourselves what it was like when it was just the two of you.
Whether it’s the cinema and candlelit table in a restaurant or something a little more unusual is up to you. As long as you are together with nothing to do and all day, or night, to do it is what matters.
Don’t just sit there
Nobody’s life is a fairytale. But acknowledging that things could be better is the first step to making positive change and ensuring that in future years, you look back with satisfaction and smile, not wistful regret.
This is a commissioned post