Since the day you were born; a letter to my children. Since the day you were born, beautiful daughter, I have known what it is to love someone more than myself. We were in it together; brand new baby and first time mum. The other new mum in the labour ward said that I looked like I knew exactly what I was doing, as I confidently scooped you up out of your little plastic pod that was positioned by my bedside, but it was only what I’d seen an actor do on a TV show, which I’d watched the week before you came! I didn’t have a clue… you taught me.
As your mother, it is my job to care for you, love you, guide you, teach you, mentor you. But you have been my greatest teacher. Without you, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. You have made me, just as I made you. We are a team, you are my everything and you make me so proud every single day. I love you little girl, and now you are becoming a young woman, about to start high school and grow into your womanhood. Women are powerful and strong, but in an unassuming and calm way. I’m excited to watch you claim your power, to become the woman who you are, and even though it will be necessary for you to distance yourself from me whilst this happens, so you can know for yourself who YOU are, independent of me, I will be right there in the background, keeping you anchored, supporting you whilst you take your first nervous steps into the world, just like you did ten years ago, and always being in your corner.
Since the day that you were born, little boy, I have known what it is to be truly happy. You came into our lives during my early thirties – my best decade so far. During my twenties, I was finding myself, establishing a career, trying to get out of debt, learning to live with another, figuring things out, dealing with depression and spiralling weight. It was a constant battle, it was exhausting. I was looking for stability, peace and happiness, and I found it when we had you.
Your Daddy and I have been solid for more than 20 years. We have worked together to build a life where we can be happy and fulfilled, raise children together, provide a secure base from which all the family members can go out into the world and soar, then come home for nurturing, rest and restoration. You were born into a home of routines, order and calm, and your gentle nature has complimented this environment. You are the cuddliest child in the world. You love nothing more than to snuggle on Mummy’s knee, with your arms wrapped around me and mine around you. You have a very endearing personality, everyone falls in love with you, you have that magic about you that so few people have. The ability to be exactly who you are, whether that be skipping off to look for ladybirds when you were supposed to be playing rugby or doing the rock star air guitar during the school nativity play when you were supposed to be a little sheep. You will never be a sheep. You are an individual and you inspire me every day. Your sister made me a Mother, and you made us a family. Precious son, you complete me.
Motherhood means a lot of things to a lot of people, but my children are what motherhood means to me. They are my everything, I live and breathe for them. I recorded a vlog recently with a poem for Mother’s Day which is so beautiful, it deserves to be written into a greetings card to give to your mum, if the sentiment echoes with you.